The Leading Edge: Stop Apologizing and Start Welcoming

If you’re like me, you sometimes fall into the trap of apologizing for no reason.  Maybe you’re staring at the cereal in the aisle at the grocery store, right in front of another shopper who wants a box of Cap’n Crunch.

“Sorry!”

Maybe you are opening the conference room door right as another coworker is trying to walk in, and you do that “Dance.”

“Sorry!”

Certainly, there are times when we need to apologize when we have intentionally or unintentionally made life harder on someone else.  But to apologize for standing where we have every right to stand?  For existing?

It’s counterproductive.

It begins to set up a pattern and a submissive, deferential perception that works against us when we need to get things done through assertiveness.

So, the next time you catch yourself apologizing for no reason at all and stepping aside with a self-reprimand, try this instead. 

Greet and Invite. 

It sounds like…

“Hey there!  Go ahead and grab your box of cereal.  I’m still looking.”  Or…

“Hi!  Looks like we both want to get through this door. Come on in!”

It’s a subtle technique that pays big dividends.  Little by little, when you stop apologizing unnecessarily, and instead, warmly invite others to be a part of the space you occupy, you’ll step into a new, powerful, welcoming energy that encourages collaboration. 

Let us know your thoughts. And, if your leadership team could use some coaching in influence, let's talk!