Making Small Talk Matter

I work with a lot of leaders who struggle with small talk. This is especially true in virtual meetings. How many of your remote meetings begin with all the energy of the waiting room at the DMV?

The leader logs in and says:

“Hey everyone… just waiting for a couple more people... we can start in a couple of minutes. How is everybody doing?"

And we get crickets. Nothing.

Or, worse yet, someone chimes in and says:

“Super busy.”

Which is unfortunate, because now the entire team is reminded of the 9,000 other things they could be doing.

Energy dies. No one is interacting. And that tone carries through for the rest of the meeting.

So what do you do with this "dead time" before a meeting gets going? We know silence kills energy. But some leaders just aren't comfortable with small talk. It's too off-topic or too personal. Or maybe the leader is TOO comfortable and it goes on too long. When this happens, small talk becomes... well... small!

So how do we make small talk easier, and make it matter?

Here's a sure-fire way, low-effort way to use that "before meeting" time to connect the team, elevate energy, and increases the odds that everyone is engaged from start to finish.

Before your next meeting, take 30 seconds to think about who will be there, and some recent, positive developments in their working world. This can be progress on a recent project. Troubleshooting a problem. Handling a customer issue.

Then, as soon as they join the meeting, engage them on that topic.

“Hi Sarah. Good to see you. Looks like you made some good progress on that project last week! How were you able to finally get things moving?"

Immediately the positive tone is set. Energy levels rise. It's easier for others to engage in the conversation. And the eventual transition into business feels natural, instead of that abrupt, forced transition from discussing our kids or our weekend.

Over time, this kind of connection does something else for you, too: you develop a reputation as someone who notices positive performance and takes the time to acknowledge it.

That’s how we make small talk matter.