The Leading Edge: Celebrate Your Imperfections

Have you ever screwed something up? I don't mean a tiny blunder. I mean a HUGE failure!

No?

Me neither. ;-)

I coach a lot of leaders on ways to come across more confident, more assertive, and more competent in situations where they may feel like an impostor - even though they absolutely deserve a seat at the table. We coach on vocal cues, body language tricks, and ways of packaging your message that help shape perceptions and ensure you come across as your "best self."

Often, first time leaders approach these situations assuming that they need to "mask" any faults or flaws. Imagine how surprised they are to learn that highlighting strengths and hiding flaws is a sure-fire way to erode trust. The truth is, NO ONE has it all together, so trying to come across as flawless invites skepticism.

I'm not saying you should start your next meeting, sales pitch, town hall or business review by trumpeting, "I don't really know what I'm doing, but please trust me." What I AM saying is that we could all benefit from embodying the Japanese philosophy of wabi sabi - which is all about celebrating imperfections.

I experienced this first-hand in Kyoto when I took part in a kintusgi workshop, which involves taking a broken item, and putting it back together by highlighting the cracks in gold. Kintsugi doesn't tell you to leave things broken. It also doesn't teach you how to fix something so there is no evidence brokenness ever existed. No, you take something broken and make it more beautiful.

So how does this apply to leadership?

I'm often asked to coach leaders in storytelling. And, if they aren't natural storytellers, they often struggle with identifying a story to tell. In response, the first story I invite them to tell is their failure story. The failure story is not a tale where there was a problem and you were the hero. No, the failure story is a situation where you made a mistake - sometimes an irreversible mistake - and learned something from it. When leaders tell these kids of stories, something magical happens.

First, the leader becomes more relatable and authentic. We have ALL had some failure in our lives.

Second, the leader miraculously comes across as MORE confident. Why? Because anyone who is willing to air their dirty laundry in front of an audience must be a self-assured person!

And third, this leader teaches others in the organization that mistakes are not only inevitable, but they are also helpful if they teach us something and cause us to improve.

So, if you are a leader looking for a story to tell, let me encourage you to celebrate the imperfection, and watch others respond by adopting a more innovative, learning mindset that pushes performance beyond its current limits.